Sunday, 10 July 2011

FATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFAT

So I have a constant weight and look problem, and that is probably the reason why nothing goes the way it should, because I hate myself and that can't mean anything good can it?
Right now I realized that I failed once again.
Not only did I not stick to my work out/diet plan, no -I also gained weight, even more weight.
I just looked at the resent pictures of me at the beach and I burst out into tears, then I compared them to my sommer photos from a year ago, and it was even worse!!
WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE TELL ME????
WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME I LOOK GOOD????

Just to make me FEEL better? Make themselves feel better?

WHY??
And I was always hurt that my mom wasn't comforting me, but was actually saying I would look better with a couple of kilos less.
God that was such a mind blow...well maybe I needed it.
Still!! I haven't quite finished spassing!

I mean I should have realized, I don't fit into my pants anymore
I weigh more
I have been eating and eating
I stoped working out
I am lazy
I have a tummy

SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE
I HAVE TO  STOP WHAT EVER I AM DOING NOW AND START DOING THINGS RIGHT

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