I know life is supposed to shape you and, the experiences and the people you are around change and influence you... but the truth is I am afraid I have been taking that a little too seriously. Some how I always feel like I have to catch up with what every one else likes, does, watches. Yes of course I have my own hobbies and things I am into, but when I try to impress people, or talk to them I always seem to what to be more like my friends, who are all cool and all these different characters, that I am just not. I want to be the cool girl who knows all this stuff that no one else knows about, and I want to be confident and flirty and adventurous. I want to be a party girl and go out and have fun, be free spirited so on.
Somehow I have been like a sponge all these years. Yes, my school life has always been about me inhaling what other people, including those my age, fed me. When I wanted someone to like me I would find out what they were into and I would be interested and well versed in that area in about a week. I don't even know what I really genuinely like anymore and I don't know what kind of person I am after trying to be like others.
I am nearly 18 years old and I haven't had this realisation properly, or more like, have I really changed? Maybe I am just meant to be a "follower"?
