Dreams

In my dreams we are together every night. I love having you by my side. I'm stroking your hand, you're kissing my cheek. Your smile gives me the feeling of warm and cold air gashing over my skin. No matter how often I tell myself, that I am over you, or that I hate you, I never really do. 

You have no idea how much it hurts to see you, when you are around the other girls. I know I don't listen to all your music. I'm not as smart or as gorgeous. I haven't done all those things. I'm an uninteresting, shy, and wierd girl, who dresses in colourful things that don't always fit and aren't branded. I don't have a perfect figure or face. And I don't talk like the girls you like.

Over all these years I have tried to change for you. I listened to you, I learned about the things you like. I tried to be more like the others. But I can't because that isn't me. 

And yet how is it that, everytime I want to say something, you say it first. I can see us walking down a street together, holding hands. I feel like we would be great.

Is it wierd that all my friends, who talk to you more then I ever have, would never be together with you, because you are too depressing, or too much of a jerk?.. To me that never changed anything, maybe cause you are not mean to me any more, or maybe because I just don't feel it.

I hate that you don't even see me, when all I see is you.