Geek charming

 So close before christmas and my step into adult hood, it seems like all I need is a incy wincy disney channel movie to make me smile and cry and get all fan girly

Problem with that?

Well the picture we are talking about here is, as the title might give away, "Geek Charming"

Being me that already attracted me some what, so I decided I would give it a shot.

Figures it stars modern family's Sarah Hyland... you know the chick that look like the absolute mirror image of a young Mila Kunis.. no big deal or anything!
Oh and her real life incredibly cute boyfriend. Matt Prokop.

So the plot:
Pretty simple cheesy teen flick: Popular girl is asked by film geek to play in his movie.

Opposite characters are joined through mutual goal. For her the film has to be a success to win blossom queen/prom queen or what ever and he...well just wants to win really, because it is his film.

Greatest thing or creepy thing, considering how attracted I am to this guy: the characters name is Josh Rosen. Coincidence?

Well the creepy familiarity is fine and all.... yes it is okay!

Anyhow long story short, she turns out to be super smart and awesome and they fall for each other happy end!

However his film friends includes this one girl who at first admires the guy and then basically is just shown the cold shoulder. While I relate to him.. lets face it I am this other chick. :/ awe well I guess I'll just end up having to settle, because why should I get the hot guy and all when she is so perfect and lovely and asfklaslf


It is a very sweet film can only recommend it!! :)

bday and all

http://www.amazon.de/gp/registry/wishlist/SKOL5A6QBIUM/ref=topnav_lists_2

Guess what it is my birthday soon (well that may be a bit exagerated, but it is in the same month :P)
Okay I know I haven't posted on here in a while but well why the fuck don't I do it now.

Okay I know it is selfish and all but this is kind of a mini tradition:

wish list:

Any cool geeky t shirts, jumpers anything (by cool I mean like superheroes and the like)

ANY GOOD MOVIES!!
DISNEY MOVIES

good books/audio books

Good music

Accessories

Handbags

Comics!

Anything that was chosen with thought really :)


Basically as long as you don't get me candles (except when they are fucking amazing and epic) I will be a happy girl :)

QUOTES

Robert Pattinson:“If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.”

Brandon Hall:“The reason girls cant find a good guy is because they look in the wrong places, go to a library. Guys at party are just looking for the next girl to fuck.”

Who am I?

I know life is supposed to shape you and, the experiences and the people you are around change and influence you... but the truth is I am afraid I have been taking that a little too seriously. Some how I always feel like I have to catch up with what every one else likes, does, watches. Yes of course I have my own hobbies and things I am into, but when I try to impress people, or talk to them I always seem to  what to be more like my friends, who are all cool and all these different characters, that I am just not. I want to be the cool girl who knows all this stuff that no one else knows about, and I want to be confident and flirty and adventurous. I want to be a party girl and go out and have fun, be free spirited so on.
Somehow I have been like a sponge all these years. Yes, my school life has always been about me inhaling what other people, including those my age, fed me. When I wanted someone to like me I would find out what they were into and I would be interested and well versed in that area in about a week. I don't even know what I really genuinely like anymore and I don't know what kind of person I am after trying to be like others.

I am nearly 18 years old and I haven't had this realisation properly, or more like, have I really changed? Maybe I am just meant to be a "follower"?

Get your act together. (Right now)

It feels like there is a cloud forming above my head. Not one filled with gaseous H2O but a cloud of worry. Of problems. And when ever something negative happens to me I feel like this bubble above my head triples in size all at once. And one day it will come crashing down in a pool of tears and misery, that feels like you can't handle it anymore, but you still need to get up the next day. (Out of experience I am going to assume this will be on a first-day-of-period day.) 

Well guess what, today kinda feels like I am paying this cloud to suffocate me. I mean I have all this research all this work, all these movies and he wants me to talk about only one.... Kathryn Bigelow.. which means no Sally Potter (for which I ordered 3 movies) great my dad will love another amazon order. not -.- 

Okay to be honest that isn't so bad. Maybe/Probably I am just pissed about the stupid audition.

I mean I stand on that fucking stage and all that I can do is mess up the song that I spent 3 day practising. JUST before it started I got the song right!

I mean I start the song at the wrong place, then I can't even get the words right at that point. AND then I get all the tunes wrong. I just hope that me shouting the refrain saved something, even if it sounded like shit.

Not to forget my lines! My voice was all squeaky.

And I was so nervous. I wasn't even this bad when I was talking in front of the whole school.

I mean why!?

I sung before, in front of lots of people. And i can act and say lines I can. I have no idea what was happening. I wasn't myself.

I just wish I could have gone first. or before Nadia at least. I mean okay and this is a bit of a bitchy rant, but my blog and I do what I want. She goes on stage and starts saying the lines with so much confidence, in her bitchy tone that basically tells everyone I am so brilliant and look how great I am on stage. And then she sings a song that no one else did, I could have done any song, but of course I was too pussy too boring too normal. as always I don't stand, except when I fuck up.

It feels like everything I can do she can do better.

ugh I hate myself right now.

Just a quick rant

I know I have enough of them to lose one or two but it still fucking hurst!!!

JANE BY DESIGN GOT CANCELLED!!
This says it all:
http://originalmisslawrence.tumblr.com/post/29639722397/jane-by-design-got-cancelled
And if it didn't:

Call me melodramatic, but I needed this!!

Envy

Some say it's green, others just see red,

Some hide it with a smile, others don't even try,

As it grows in chest and hands turn to fists,

You try to decide exactly what it is,

As it slithers up your throat and you fight to keep it in,

Somehow all that you have seems trashy and cheap,

Why is it so hard to just be strong, 

To not mind or give an understanding smile.

Not to think, that should be me!

To be happy with yourself and let others see.

Who knows maybe then it will hit her

And your life is the one that she would prefer.